I can still remember when I picked up the garter belt and some dark tan stockings, and a pair of shiny black patent-leather heeled slip-on pumps. I rummaged around the underwear and picked out a white full-slip with satin straps, and lace on the chest and the hem. I looked through the many panties and chose a pair, and then I went to the other side of the basement and got out of my clothes. I put on the panties and then hooked the garter belt around my waist over the panties. I pulled on the stockings and hooked them to the garter tabs (just like I'd seen my mom do hundreds of times). And then I pulled the full-slip over my head and down onto my body. It was the first time I wore a slip that had cups on the chest, and they laid all bunched up against my flat chest. There were two bras back in the garment bag (one white and the other an off-white ivory). After I paused for a moment (I think my mom was sitting at her sewing table) the curiosity was too much, so I walked over and quietly. But I also got a taste of what my life is going to be like without you in it. I wasn't real fond of that, either."I told Bailey I wasn't sure if I could be a very good friend to her."I still have a lot of anger," I said. "Rightly or wrongly, I blame you for shutting me out, and I blame you for ruining my trip to Arizona. I'm not saying it's completely rational but it's the way I feel right now." I watched SportsCenter every morning," she said morosely. "There was a running debate about whether you had suffered brain damage. One morning dad and I watched as they showed you and me dancing at the U.S. Open and then showed you standing stone-faced answering questions."Dad started crying. Can you believe that? He didn't speak to me the rest of the day. When he did talk to me, he apologized for not teaching me the responsibilities that go with loving someone."I told him I knew the responsibility, but when I broke up with you my purpose wasn't to hurt you. I guess I wanted to shock you. I.
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